That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
