We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
