Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Send help, water and tortillas.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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