you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
