I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My vagina just recognized that song.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize