First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize