with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
