Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize