So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
