Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
This toilet bowl is my home.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
