Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
my poor anus
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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