Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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