There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
my poor anus
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
