Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
