Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
