Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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