he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
