God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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