I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the day after is always just damage control
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
This is my gift to your gina
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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