u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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