i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
