I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize