Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
