Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
