I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
