the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
