That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
