The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
