We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You made out with two different species that night
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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