He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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