we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
