how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
