a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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