get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
