this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
