My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
