So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
