Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize