he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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