Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
