Kiss
Puke
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
