out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
