I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
