I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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