ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
