I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
