I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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