Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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