My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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