haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
