O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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