I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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