I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
should my penis look like a turkey
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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