i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize