i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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