Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
two words: eviction party
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
