So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
