come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
