I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize