Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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