i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
