So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
