i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
3pm strippers are depressing
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
